were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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