I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
