porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize