so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
