Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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