I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
