i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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