I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
