theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
