You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
