Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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