it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
