just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
