fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We are two peas in an std pod
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
