you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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