You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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