Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found your dick twin last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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