I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
