8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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