I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
