I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
