My Higher Power is John Stamos
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
