Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
