they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
