He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
