We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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