Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
