why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
