Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize