you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
