I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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