So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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