Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
