Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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