what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
