I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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