I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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