My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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