This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
