oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
