Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
