either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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