You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
