she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
