People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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