I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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