Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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