we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
