Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
