real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize