Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so let's talk penis.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
