dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
