theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
