return my video game
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
