I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
