Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
