maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
