Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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