According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize