i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
