3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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