Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
