For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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