last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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