Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
