She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
